How do I stop being nervous and anxious?

Well where do I begin? I think I should start by saying I know all my problems but I can never make a change. I'm a very nervous, anxious and insecure person. I wake up and something is always on my mind and it can ruin my entire day and causes me to have a horrible mood, get extremely tired, it's like I'm always in a fog like I can never think straight. I feel like I can never finish anything, and I feel like it can get bad enough where it can ruin my future. These feelings are every single day, goes through my mind every second and it haunts me every where I go. And these feelings all started 7 months ago and it seems like it's never going to go away. I'll tell a couple things about my self.. I'm 19, 6'1", 150 lbs, I'm a good looking guy, I have a beautiful, crazy, very very out going girlfriend, a big group of friends that always party's, going to concerts and clubs, a couple of them are dancers. You would think I wouldn't have problems, but it's like a war goes off in my head. Now my symptoms are I am nervous, anxious, insecure person, I lack confidence, and and it causes me to always be in a fog, my mood is always shot, causes me to mumble, studder, talk fast, and think very very slowly, I hate being in a fog if that wasnt the case I wouldn't have some of these problems because I'd be clear headed. I just hate being so nervous every where I go. Honestly I can have such a good personality, I can be funny and a pretty awesome person to me around, but this is the case every now and then. But 95% of the time I feel like what I just said. I just want to go out knowing I'm going to have a good time, I want to be the guy whose the center of the party, I want to not care what people say about me and not care what I do. Instead if someone is looking at me I feel that there judging me or even talking about me. When I go to a party with my friends I always feel left out and by myself, I feel alone. When I feel like this I cannot think straight and I end up saying the dumbest things, people end up saying I'm so weird, give me looks or even laughs at me and it makes me feel like crap. And it will ruin my night then I feel awkward. Another thing is if im out and alone with someone or in a small group I always get bad vibes like they don't want to be around me. And I notice ever single thing about their body language and there respoces. One of my biggest insecurity is I have very skinny legs and I'm very thin, because of my skinny legs and the fact that I'm so tall makes me look weird. People are always judging me or saying "wow your legs are so skinny", deep down it kills me. I used to also go to the gym I was fairly muscular but I was still skinny, at that time I felt pretty good about myself. I haven't gone because my workout partner doesn't have the time so I lost weight and all my muscle. Honestly if I was pretty big with muscles and wasnt so skinny I wouldn't have these problems. But the way things are now about my appearance stresses me out so go damn much. Acouple of days ago I went to the doctors because of my anxiety and to get blood work about why I'm always so tired and foggy. The subscribed me medicine but I don't want to be medicated and also gave me an idea of a thyporist. I just don't want to do any of that, I don't want to be medicated. I want to handle this myself. If you think I should explain why I should so maybe i can change my mind.Another thing is I'm constintaly looking up anxiety and looking at other people's problems on the Internet and always watching videos of what I could do thats similar to my problems. I always try and see what I could do about this. But nothing ever works out. All I want is to be comfortable and happy. I want to be an awesome person to be around, funny and fun to he with. I just want to live, party, go to clubs, concerts, do well in college and have a good job when I'm older. I know all my flaws, I just want this habit to vanish and go far far away because it is ruining everything in my life. What should I do? Tips would be great for the quest to stop being haunted.

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Recommended Answer:

Have you ever thought that maybe it's the scene you're constantly in that could be a problem?? You may already be an anxious person, and the crazy party scene just may not be your thing. That's how it is with me, I used to WANT to go out to clubs and parties all the time, but then I realized that it honestly isn't for everyone and their well being. Maybe you should try meditation and finding time for yourself to simply relax and do things that will ease your soul such as art, poetry, a walk in the forest, anything. Bring your girlfriend along if you'd like. You could also try seeing a psychologist... they would definitely have more information on what possibly caused you to feel like this and techniques that could potentially help you out :)

Other Answers:

  • I couldn't wade through all of that--but it seems to be that you've made a choice not to take the doctor's Rx, and now you're still complaining. (I don't mean to sound mean, here--but what can WE offer you here?! I grew up with a terrible dread that something awful was going to happen to me. I finally became claustrophobic which caused me all sorts of problems, in my middle '30's. I finally went to see a doctor; he referred me to a psychiatrist, and he Rx'd an anti-anxiety med that helped me greatly--and I'm still on it at 84 yrs old. And that's OK--as it's inexpensive and it helps me concentrate on a good LIFE, rather than the constant anxiety! I researched my early childhood with my then aged mother, and she told me that since I was born in l929, along with the Great Depression, my Dad did find a job--but it was a night job and he had to sleep during the day time! Mom had to keep me--a toddler--quiet so that he could sleep--so she would lock me in the tiny bathroom until I was quiet; had stopped crying and put a "smile" on my face! I grew up with this dread in my solar plexus that I'd be locked up any minute. A lot of times, very early childhood experiences which produce repeated anxiety for the child, results in constant anxiety. But you certainly have every right to deal with this condition as you see fit. I'd just like to encourage you, however, if throughout the years you get worn out dealing with this, I do hope you'll consider medication! It medicates the ANXIETY--not YOU!


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