How do I stop caring about what others think and love myself?

I am a 28 year old female. I am severely overweight. I am trying to lose weight, which is one of the hardest things because I've always been overweight. I signed up for the gym and I try to work out at least 3 times a week for an hour each. I lost only 5 pounds so far which is a start. I have very low self esteem because of it and a lot of built of up anger. I am also socially awkward especially in new places. Today, I had to take my niece to her first swim class and had to stay until her mother (my sister) got off work and comes half an hour later after class starts. Of course today I felt so awkward. I guess I look older for my age because of my weight and everyone thinks I'm my niece's mother. She began to cry because she felt so scared since it was her first time. I felt so uncomfortable because everyone was looking at me. She calmed down and went to swim. I was sitting down and felt like a whale. I can see the swim instructors thinking I'm a whale. I can see the looks on the mothers looking at me giving me a disgusting look. I've seen some attractive swim instructors and they probably think I'm a mother and also think I'm disgusting. To think I have to drive my niece to practice every Tuesday makes me cringe. How do I stop caring about what others think and love myself??

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Recommended Answer:

Im so sorry what ois happening to you and i really want to help. I will try my best. Personally, what i would do is if people think bad stuff about me i ignore them. To get to that stage it took a lot of work and tons of help from my friends and family. If they have a problem with you then let them have that problem. Just look at your niece. Look at how GOOD shes doing. Cheer her on and help her as much as you can. Give her some tips on the way back home so its not so awkward. Find something in common to talk about. Hope this helped! Keep working out and know im cheering you on!!

Other Answers:

• Don't care what other people think, if your small enough to take your niece swimming your not that big. If you that big that its unhealthy its hard to love yourself. So start changing your lifestyle. Lose the weight, its not easy but its your only option
• You have two problems here to work on: 1) You did not comfort and assure your niece when she was afraid of the water. This is something that you need to learn how to do. It is important to focus on what SHE IS FEELING at the time, show her some empathy and reassure her that you are right there to help her. And so, next week, remind her how well she did this week in the water and that you are very, very proud of her and the progress she is making in learning to swim. 2) People are not looking at you....however you imagine that they are. You keep looking at their faces and imagining that they even care about you or what you look like....they don't.Every woman at that pool is concerned about her body....her hips, her thighs, her bosom....is she adequate? Who the hell cares? They are all there because their kids needs their approval and support to learn how to swim and that's why YOU ARE THERE!You are not there to seek their approval. You are there to support your niece who looks up to you as the adult who is taking care of her while she is at swim lessons.So this week, hold her hand and tell her that she is doing well and you are proud. Focus on her and her progress and forget about the others who are there. It's not about you....it's your niece who needs to have support.Your niece will succeed in learning how to swim and YOU will succeed in your weight loss endeavor! The both of you have made a good start...I wish you all the best.