so im 26 years old and i have been dating this guy for a 3 months now and we are taking things slow, but so far things are great. he is cute, funny and so sweet. yesterday we got together and we were talking about what we were like in high school. he told me he was scrawny, a hipster, and loved music. i told him was artsy, bubbly, and petite, when really that was a complete lie. growing up i was morbidly obese. i was a 400 pound freshman and i graduated highschool at 550 pounds. i didnt have a dad and i had a skinny older sister and mom who always made fun of me for my weight, so i always turned to food for comfort. Just as a teen, i had breathing and heart problems and it hurt just to stand up. I will always remember this, when i was 18 i went to the doctor and i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and he told me if i didnt lose weight i would be dead by the time i was 20. i started dieting and slowly started exercising and now 8 years later im 120 pounds and i dont have diabetes anymore, so i have lost in total 430 pounds. i still keep my old clothes to remind myself how far iv come. i dont like to tell people about my weight loss story because im kind of embarressed by it. i dont want people to know i used to weigh a quarter of a ton. Unfortunately, i still have stretch marks and the scars from my surgery to remove my loose skin, so no matter what the stretch marks and scars will never go away and thats why when i look into the mirror i still see that fat girl. i feel like right now him and i are in the phase of our relationship in which we should be completely honest with each other, but im afraid if i tell him il just scare him off. should i tell him?
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Wow that's an amazing and inspirational accomplishment! Congratulations.Honestly, from my experience with guys, I'd probably wait a little more until you tell him. Especially since it's something you're so insecure and fragile about. 3 months is definitely still in the very early stages of a relationship and if I were you, I'm not so sure I'd be ready opening up about that just yet.However, if you're confident and ready to tell him, don't let my advice stop you!Other Answers:
- i think he would appreciate it if you told him the truth. if you don't tell him, then someday he will somehow learn about it. If he gets scared and dumps you, then he probably wasn't the right guy anyway :)
- I say yes be proud of your amazing accomplimshment besides if you see any future with this guy he needs to know your medical history. And congrats on the weight loss I know that must have taken a lot of will power and strength. Don't be embarrassed you were able to do something amazing that a lot of people can't do no matter how hard they try.
- honesty is ALWAYS the best. You cant start a strong relationship if you have this doubt that he will get scared away by your past. Tell him, he most likely wont mind. be proud of your stretch marks, they are battle scars from a hard battle which you WON. He sounds like he wont mind, just tell him.good luck x
- Yes, yes, yes! You should definitely tell him. If he is the right person for you, it won't change how he feels about you. If it does change it, then he doesn't deserve you. Your story shows a lot of strength. Look at how far you've come! You turned your life around. That is something that takes a very strong person, which is what you are. There's no reason to be ashamed of your past. Everyone has one, it's how you work with it that matters. You lost 430 pounds!! That's such a huge accomplishment! You should be proud of yourself. I hope this helped you out! Good luck, and stay strong. :-)
- You MOST definitely should tell him! don't just break it to him, sit him down or something. Honestly, he shouldn't react too badly because this was all in your past. You aren't that person anymore, and you should be proud of that. If he doesn't like you after, you would know that he is definitely the wrong guy for you. any guy who TRULY cares about you wouldn't care about your body in the past, he would care about how you are NOW. A guy you SHOULD be with, is someone who is so proud of you overcoming that huge obstacle.
